How’s your schedule looking? If it’s not somewhere between Wide Open and Totally Available, then you might want to look elsewhere for your ephemeral jollies. Gearbox alone this week can fill a half-hour block of your time. Like, when does “extended” just not cut it anymore?
Also, I just watched I Know That Voice on Netflix, so if even after this series of epics of trailers you still have more time, maybe give that a go. Then we can talk about it. There’s a whole bit on video games and Comic-Con, and you’ll definitely be in awe of how few voice actors stretch across so many iconic voices, TV or otherwise. Anyways, time for those ridiculously long trailers!
Coming out from the biggest news of the previous week, Phil Spencer attempts to spend four minutes assuaging you with the idea that Microsoft is acquiring Mojang, the studio behind Minecraft. It’s a strange move; I’m not even sure how many people associate the game with this particular studio. Surely a sizable amount, but the percentage of total Minecraft players is likely miniscule. Who is Spencer trying to placate here? Is Minecraft simply too large to even steer now?
I think those You Don’t Know Jack games are pretty fun. They’re a great way to get friends that don’t necessarily play games to play some god damn video games. Now the developers Jackbox Games have Fibbage, a game where you attempt to fill in the blank on a tidbit you most likely don’t know the real answer to. It reminds me a bit of Deck Around, except digitized. Either way, it’s already out for Xbox One, PlayStation3, PlayStation 4, and, uh, Amazon FireTV.
Assassin’s Creed Unity
Another week, another triple-A game from Ubisoft putting out a reminder that It’s Happening. Really, this trailer doesn’t show any gameplay—like, at all—but it does have a pretty cool song playing, so that kind of makes it worth it. I think. Either way, Assassin’s Creed Unity comes out on November 11 for Xbox One, PlayStation 4, and PC.
Final Fantasy XV
Now that’s a way to open up a trailer. It’s an excellent reminder of what made that first Final Fantasy Versus XIII trailer from back in 2006, namely the stupidly enticing blend of modern aesthetics with knights and monsters and magic.
It’s also, unfortunately, an excellent reminder that Final Fantasy XV has been basically in development for over eight years with no end in sight. Kotaku has a cool feature with the new solo director (formerly co-director with Tetsuya Nomura) Hajime Tabata that you should read. It’s fairly enlightening. Also, this trailer is pretty cool.
So that was weird and totally fucked up, which is what I hope the entirety of Silent Hills is going to be like (and, more or less, was what P.T. was as well). Honestly, if I had to choose between a giant baby monster woman and going down into an ominous basement, I’d probably choose the basement, too.
Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel!
Like, why. It’s not even a question. It’s a statement. Why is this video so long? How does this help anyone? Maybe once Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel! comes out, this would make more sense as a series of in-game tutorials spread out across a sequence of tutorial missions, which sounds pretty bad outright but is relatively tolerable compared to this nine and a half minutes of swing-and-a-miss humor. Comes out October 14 for Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC, OSX, and Linux.
I can’t believe I watched all of that.
I wonder how much of this was Andrew Goldfarb, content editor at Gearbox Software, fighting his journalistic roots to ask probing and dangerously inquisitive questions. Either way, Battleborn looks decent. I love the look of it. Super colorful and fluid like whoa. I do feel like the jokes and gags are once again swing-and-a-miss
The actual gameplay looks competent with the cooperative slant definitely making it more interesting. Thorn seems like she’d be super boring to play but Rath might be fun. I don’t know. I’ve basically eradicated all expectations of this game from my brain.
And now, I leave you with this delicious bit of nonsense. This trailer sums up the whole of what Roundabout from No Goblin has to offer, and that is I Have No Fucking Idea. Check out this badass description from its press page: “Roundabout is a ’70s B-Movie game where you drive a constantly revolving limousine!” Awesome. Just Awesome. Roundabout is out now for PC, OSX, and Linux and will be out for Xbox One and PlayStation 4 in early 2015.